Walking The Black Dog

The wall was red. I remember that vividly. What I could not tell you was how long I’d been staring at it. I knew I hadn’t slept, my legs were hurting and there was a tightness in my chest. I remember asking myself, “Self, why are you staring at a wall?” It took a physical effort to pull myself away. That was the only success of that night. I started pacing about, wired yet exhausted, my brain going ten to the dozen, thinking about everything and nothing at all. I found myself in the kitchen, face to face with my mother, who stalks these halls at that hour, who looked both worried and unimpressed.

BlogMatthew Bone5 February 2016Depression, Black Dog, Sadness, Loss, Lost, Hope, Light, Determination, Travel, Escape, Walking, Asking for Help, Den of Geek, Geeks vs LonelinessComment

Dreading Star Wars

It is a stunning shot. A speeder races across the horizon, a ditched X-Wing and then the Star Destroyer, slowly decaying into the sand. As I see this for the umpteenth time, it suddenly hit me that those crashed spacecraft rather aptly sum up my feelings for this series. Once glorious and majestic, now rotting and sinking into the sands of my youth. This could be completely intentional on the part of the film-makers and if so, I'm very impressed by it. You see, as with everyone my age, Star Wars defined my childhood.